brainflak bits

Cavity Searches Not Really Friendly

Fri, 14 May 2010 06:40:49 -0700

Facebook is becoming such an invasive cavity search that I am determined to explore alternatives, find a good strategy, and figure out how to lure my friends there. Possibilities? This (Tumblr), LiveJournal, Google Buzz, extended uses of Twitter, Google Wave, Orkut, some of the open source, distributed social network apps under development, or trying to build some damn thing myself? I think I’ll start by creating a survey to lob at my friends, asking them which features of Facebook they care about. So look for such from me soon. In the meantime: suggestions? Thoughts?

Hey, I can has blawg!

Thu, 06 May 2010 11:11:28 -0700

I just remembered: I have a blog or three! Some awesome folks I met in World of Warcraft recently discovered brainflak.com, and I remembered that I haven’t posted there since the War of 1812. The reason is simple: my mushy brain hasn’t had anything to say since then that was longer than a tweet. But no more. Massive discourse must now pour forth. Or something.

Masklessness

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 11:55:35 -0800

It used to be that each fall I would make a mask. These would be fairly elaborate masks, of latex or wood or papier mâché. They were usually scary, although some were scary only in odd ways, like the one that was a huge 48-pixel icon of my own face.

But for the last several years it just has not happened. Two years ago I made a plaster mold for a multi-eyed, polymouthed, Lovecraftian horror, but never cast it. This year I made a rather enormous, spooky castle to wear on my head, but didn’t get it painted. Just couldn’t make the time.

The proximate causes are obvious enough. I have two young children. I’ve been working 75 hours a week. But this matter depresses me far more than merely confirming that I’m busy can explain.

I guess it’s part of my broader fear/regret/angst about what seems the death of my creativity. I’ve made so little art of any kind lately that I can’t believe anyone believes I’m me. Clearly I’m an impostor in my own life.

Bah.

Can I be fixed? Will getting work hours under control do it? Must I go all Pollock on my Ford Focus? Burn my giant stack of old sketchbooks and give up? I know - silly drama for a lame dilemma. I’ve become the Willy Lohman of artsy and/or fartsy dilettantes.

Feh. Please ignore me.

Because it's too long for Twitter but too blue for Facebook...

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 11:59:21 -0700

RT @TedHope via @james_gunn: just punched Lampton in the face b/c he had a “World’s # 1 Dad” drawing on the wall! Hope: “Fuck you, I’M the number one dad!”

Boo Rhymes

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 12:02:05 -0700

Yesterday I was singing a silly song with Boo, involving making up verses about each family member. I was pleased with my effort at a rhyme for Kathryn: bathroom. But Boo required that we do that one over, and insisted that I had to rhyme with Kathryn. I protested that I couldn’t think of any words that rhyme exactly with Kathryn, so Boo patiently listed some for me: “tathryn, sathryn, mathryn, gathryn, dathryn, lathryn.” Enlightened, I did another take, which was well received. I went with “mathryn.”

Nostalgic for server log analysis

Mon, 28 Sep 2009 16:42:03 -0700

Basing your Web analytics exclusively on data collected via client-side mechanisms built from ambitious Javascript and faerie duste is rather like basing your weather reports on information collected from everyone’s toaster ovens.

Why is this one purple?

Mon, 28 Sep 2009 14:27:16 -0700

Notice: the photos from the company picnic do not need to have sepia-tone, infrared, vignette shadows, rough film gate edges, pretend Polaroid frames, or other “effects” randomly applied to them.Thank you for your cooperation. P.S. Scrapbooking should not be your entire way of life.

Attention creators of stock photography and illustration

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 07:39:46 -0700

There is no need to create any new versions of the following images:

Handshake closeup, even with different skin colors
Dynamic young businessman on a cellphone, even if she’s a businesswoman
Someone looking over the shoulder of a laptop user and pointing out something on the screen
Stacks of bills or piles of loose change

Plus: 822,587,214 other types.

Just. Stop.

If you take an isometric view of a “3d” space and...

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 11:07:00 -0700

If you take an isometric view of a “3d” space and plop it onto a virtual plane that you then stretch backward into artificial perspective, you create a weird reverse perspective effect that gives me a headache. Ow. Do not want.

This object divided the different vegetables on my shamefully...

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 15:24:52 -0700

This object divided the different vegetables on my shamefully overpackaged party platter from one another. But it’s a much more important object than that would suggest. It speaks to me. It stays with me. It wants to be art. It may be already. What will I name it?…

Blasphemous Punks?

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 10:22:58 -0700

So I’m trying to save a file to my hard drive. An alternate version of an application entry page, so I call it index2.shtml. It tells me that already exists. I don’t remember creating such, but I try index3.shtml. Already exists. Then index4.shtml - same thing. I try index29.shtml and it claims that it exists. So just for my own amusement I try calling it blasphemouspunksatemyprayerrug.shtml. Guess what? Already exists. My computer is losing credibility.

Helpful Message

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 09:39:00 -0700

I love useful, informative error messages that guide one through the use of an application. This is not one of them:

NOTIFYWN_OTEX_LLDS_082803: cidaemon.exe - Application Error The Instruction at "0x7c34240d' referenced memory at '0x00000000". The memory could not be "written".

This came up with no indication of what application or component it had to do with, and had to be clicked twice before I could do anything else. About as helpful as forcing the user to print out a full stack trace and eat it with mustard. Aargh.

I do like the quotation marks around “written,” though. This is perhaps a new word for the user, or simply a bit of opaque sarcasm on the part of a deranged OS coder: “I’m obviously talking about initializing an array of pointers to pointers in an electronic storage system, but I shall dumb it down for the idiot sheep who will use my masterpiece.”

As you may have inferred by now, today is my day of 31 flavors of computer trouble. And Fudge Brownie is NOT one of them.

I wore a t-shirt today with an odd illustration of mine affixed...

Sat, 29 Aug 2009 00:36:19 -0700

I wore a t-shirt today with an odd illustration of mine affixed as a thick, impermeable iron-on. This meant that a large rectangle in the middle of my torso felt (and smelled) like it was wearing a rubber suit. Tiny colonies of flesh-eating fungal tendrils, with tiny eyes and teeth, sprouted over my sternum. A localized thunderstorm made my navel crackle with lightning. And yet I still wear the shirt, so enamored am I of the vaguely creepy little dudes I drew. Oh vanity, oh pride…

My life is truly wonderful.

Mon, 17 Aug 2009 18:47:31 -0700

My life is truly wonderful.

Bolt

Mon, 17 Aug 2009 09:26:56 -0700

There is a man in my office whose cubicle I must pass on the way to the lavatory. Every time I pass he is staring at his computer screen, wide-eyed, slack-jawed shock on his face. One hand is typically held palm up in a gesture that seems to convey both disbelief and supplication, and the other planted on the arm of his chair, giving the impression that he is ready to shoot out of his chair at any moment and run screaming for the emergency exit.

I wonder what he has realized that I have not…

This bunny is straitjacketed not out of cruelty, but because she...

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 19:25:43 -0700

This bunny is straitjacketed not out of cruelty, but because she is a danger to herself and others. There was an incident with some otters and a pitchfork, followed by a 5150. You know how it goes.

Breathe

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 18:39:30 -0700

I’m not too alarmed by the announcement of restructuring plans by my corporate masters yesterday. It’s not clear whether my group is intended to be phased out by our new CEO, but I’m 93% sure it would not prove to be possible, and 98.7% sure that even if deemed feasible it would take from six to nine months to accomplish. And soon I’ll banish the li’l knot of stress in my gut.

My daughters aren’t always satisfied with my toy use...

Tue, 11 Aug 2009 15:35:57 -0700

My daughters aren’t always satisfied with my toy use skills, but I like to think I coax the best from any toy.

My six-year-old thinks that Mr. Toast is everywhere. I wonder...

Thu, 06 Aug 2009 17:54:19 -0700

My six-year-old thinks that Mr. Toast is everywhere. I wonder what makes her think that, aside from the two plush toys in her bin and Mommy’s necklace and…

Bamboo bicycles, from hand-crafted, expensive coolness to ...

Thu, 06 Aug 2009 11:02:00 -0700

Bamboo bicycles, from hand-crafted, expensive coolness to sustainable, cost-effective, African goodness, make me happy and snappy. See also this cool picture and this frame, if you like. [image above copyright Calfee Design]